Today, my fellow Americans, I urge you to vote.
Vote YES on Proposition 666. If passed it will give all red blooded patriots the right to kick the shins of any women who has gained any sort of fame or fortune from the Bravo series, “Real Housewives.”
Please also vote on Proposition 200001 which would allow for electric currents to be sent through politicians everytime they lie.
And finally, please vote for Wyclef Jean as the new President of Haiti. I really do believe that being an international pop star is perfect preparation for leading a country that is in peril and dismay. “Gone til November 2010!”