I love Christmas. I really do. I love that my friends come home. I love all the amazing food and drinks at parties. I love hanging out with my family.
However, I hate scrooges. And I hate Christmas haters.
Hey Atheists! Who cares if Jesus was born on August 21st. Or May 14th. Or April 17th. Shit, I could go on and on. Is it that bad to be all mushy and stuff one time a year and hang out with your family in front of a big tree and eat pie and drink cider? I mean talk about funkill. Bleh.
Hey overzealous Christians! Yeah I like Jesus and all, but don’t tell me (or the Atheists) that we can’t celebrate Christmas because we’re not living our lives according to the holy scripture. And that Santa takes away from the “true” meaning of Christmas. Fine, you know what? My kids aren’t even going to believe in Santa. They’re going to believe in a magical Unicorn that barfs the presents under the tree. This time of year will still represent family and togetherness to them… And they’ll also probably be the “special” kids in their class. Oy…
Hey people that say Christmas is just another holiday that Hallmark as taken over! Shut up. Drive around your neighborhood and look at pretty lights, drink some spiked egg nog and just.shut.up.
It’s absolutely miserable that anything around this time of year could get me this worked up. But you scrooges did it. And you know what? I still wish you a Merry Freaking Christmas too. HA!