Gracie’s Guide to Being Single: EX-treme Awkwardness

I’ve been pretty lucky. Most of my exes moved away after we broke up.

There aint room enough for the both of us in this here state!

For a while, one of them even moved to Texas and I got to sing this song all the time:

However, the most recent one hasn’t… yet. This means I was inevitably going to run into him out and about in our nice little Boulder Bubble. I made it a pretty decent amount of time without seeing him and was feeling pretty good and pretty confident. I let my guard down even. Wasn’t scanning the bars when I walked in to make sure he wasn’t there and in a social sense, kind of forgot he existed. Then, in the most surprising way possible, bam! First run in. And literally I almost ran into him physically. Considering he was walking down the sidewalk unaware of his surroundings and I was walking the opposite direction, drunk. And not only that, he was accompanied by a girl I had been to dinner with earlier in the night. My night went from casually learning how to “Dougie” at the Walrus to, “oh we’re going to the Attic? Give me three Fat Alberts and the cutest boy I can find.” (For those who don’t know, Fat Alberts are purple drinks filled with the most amount of alcohol $5 will buy you in Boulder and your first class ticket to at the very least, a gray out.)

Just a standard night at the Walrus

Then it just got awkward. He kept trying to talk sports to my brother, I kept trying hit on one of my best guy friends which was just weird and creepy of me (sorry again, TH). And the girl ex-boyfriend was with didn’t seem to want to look me in the eyes. I don’t know why. Seriously though, I don’t…. Well, I guess I am kind of tall and intimidating… and I could break a bitch, if I wanted to. Fortunately, I can’t find many things worth breaking bitches over, this situation included. I really wish I could properly describe the scene, the friends who were all not involved but knew what was going on looked horribly uncomfortable and kind of horrified in general. I was drunk and offering a guy a ride home on my Dune Buggy. Yes. My Dune Buggy. I never underestimate the power of my drunken imagination.

WTF? Really Gracie?

Finally the group split up and I was left talking to probably the one person who was unaware of the situation which turned out to be incredibly refreshing and worth the awkwardness of the previous two hours. I decided that running into an ex doesn’t have to be entirely painful and you might even be rewarded for being put through the situation. However, fingers crossed that it doesn’t happen again soon. So ex-boyfriend, if you’re reading this, how about we compare schedules so we don’t have to deal with this little mishap again? Mmmk?


6 responses to “Gracie’s Guide to Being Single: EX-treme Awkwardness

  1. What a great read! You’re imagination is surpassed only by your unique way with words which paint a picture your readers can relate to with both angst and a deep feeling of compassion for you as we laugh at your characterizations. You do have a gift, Gracie. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. That dune buggy looks like it could definitely “break a bitch.” And you look really orange in that picture, you do know that tanning beds are unhealthy, right?

  3. Just laughed out loud. Seriously. These are making my day. Please post more often. And tell me about the awkward run ins, the gray out drunks, and all the other crazy Gracie adventures. I’m living the Boulder life vicariously through you!

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