I’ve been pretty lucky. Most of my exes moved away after we broke up.
For a while, one of them even moved to Texas and I got to sing this song all the time:
However, the most recent one hasn’t… yet. This means I was inevitably going to run into him out and about in our nice little Boulder Bubble. I made it a pretty decent amount of time without seeing him and was feeling pretty good and pretty confident. I let my guard down even. Wasn’t scanning the bars when I walked in to make sure he wasn’t there and in a social sense, kind of forgot he existed. Then, in the most surprising way possible, bam! First run in. And literally I almost ran into him physically. Considering he was walking down the sidewalk unaware of his surroundings and I was walking the opposite direction, drunk. And not only that, he was accompanied by a girl I had been to dinner with earlier in the night. My night went from casually learning how to “Dougie” at the Walrus to, “oh we’re going to the Attic? Give me three Fat Alberts and the cutest boy I can find.” (For those who don’t know, Fat Alberts are purple drinks filled with the most amount of alcohol $5 will buy you in Boulder and your first class ticket to at the very least, a gray out.)
Then it just got awkward. He kept trying to talk sports to my brother, I kept trying hit on one of my best guy friends which was just weird and creepy of me (sorry again, TH). And the girl ex-boyfriend was with didn’t seem to want to look me in the eyes. I don’t know why. Seriously though, I don’t…. Well, I guess I am kind of tall and intimidating… and I could break a bitch, if I wanted to. Fortunately, I can’t find many things worth breaking bitches over, this situation included. I really wish I could properly describe the scene, the friends who were all not involved but knew what was going on looked horribly uncomfortable and kind of horrified in general. I was drunk and offering a guy a ride home on my Dune Buggy. Yes. My Dune Buggy. I never underestimate the power of my drunken imagination.
Finally the group split up and I was left talking to probably the one person who was unaware of the situation which turned out to be incredibly refreshing and worth the awkwardness of the previous two hours. I decided that running into an ex doesn’t have to be entirely painful and you might even be rewarded for being put through the situation. However, fingers crossed that it doesn’t happen again soon. So ex-boyfriend, if you’re reading this, how about we compare schedules so we don’t have to deal with this little mishap again? Mmmk?