Grownup.

This year for Thanksgiving, I’m still thankful for all the normal stuff I always am; cheese, naps, the color yellow, that bum that told me I was pretty last year, my boobs, friends, family, blah blah blah.

Well, this year, now that I am in my mid-20’s and sporting my first, terrifying gray hair, I’m thankful for my graceful transition into adulthood. And not only am I accepting it, I’m embracing it.

There really is some fun stuff about becoming a functioning member of society. And without further ado, here is my list of the things that make me feel like a grownup:

  • I have an investment banker that controls my tiny, little 401K that is invested in a stock market that could possibly cease to exist by the time I retire.
  • I HAVE a 401K.
  • I finally have the confidence to ignore the pushy kiosk people at the mall.
  • I no longer strive to be the most famous female beat boxer, but now just to get Justin Timberlake to marry me because I’m a really good person.

    Definitely one of my proudest moments

  • My LinkedIn account has TWO real jobs in employment history.
  • I can type 87 WPM. Or is that text? Either way, it’s grownup.
  • I have business cards with a job title that isn’t: “Babysitter extraordinaire.”
  • My mom steals MY beer now.
  • I don’t want to go to Dupstep shows anymore.

    I wish I could take credit for this....

  • I no longer openly swear in public, all the time.
  • When my mom makes me sandwiches, I ask her to keep the crust on.
  • I don’t kiss random boys at the bars… as often.
  • Last night at Forever 21, I got a headache because the music was too loud.
  • I extreme walk in a more cautious manner.
  • I suck it up and eat the black jelly beans. Can’t let anything go to waste, we are in a financial crisis you know.
  • I think most everything fishnet is tacky.
  • I hate The Walrus.

    To be fair, they do have good drink specials and free pool at happy hour....

Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! Enjoy your Tofurky!

PS. Fun fact. As I was “researching” for this post, I ran a, “The Walrus Boulder” Google image search to find a logo I could deface. Aaaand if you want to find something funny, run the same search and see what the 11th result is….

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4 responses to “Grownup.

  1. Hahaha! How insanely funny is that?! Goodness, I wonder how many years ago that is from! Brilliant post though. Gotta love Boulder and the gluten free, tofurky. PLEASE post more, this was amazing! xx

  2. Very nice. Nice to know you are immortalized on the internet right?

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