Anything Kanye does, I can do better. With that being said, I present to you “Gracie’s New New Workout Plan.” No I don’t have a music video to go with it, just my really awesome and talented illustrations:
Step One: Put on a pair of elastic band pants.
Step Two: Pour yourself a glass of wine. I prefer a 2010 Franzia White Zin, but this part is totally up to your individual desires.
Step Three: Sit on the couch. Then find your favorite program on TV. I really like doing this exercise while watching Biggest Loser. However, it can’t be a show On Demand. You’ll need the commercial breaks. More on that in a bit.
Step Four: Shake Weight for 10 minutes. I know it says you only have to do it for 6 minutes. But that’s for people who are exceptionally lazy.
Step Five: 100 leg lifts. It helps if you have a coffee table the same height as your couch.
Step Six: Lay down on the couch and stick your legs in the air. Every commercial break, do crunches until your show comes back on.
Step Seven: Stretch it out. Touch your toes, arms over the head, glute exercise. Kill your glass of wine.
Aaaaaaaaaand congratulations you just completed Gracie’s New New Workout. You’re feeling amazing, aren’t you?
Suck it, Kanye.