This year for Thanksgiving, I’m still thankful for all the normal stuff I always am; cheese, naps, the color yellow, that bum that told me I was pretty last year, my boobs, friends, family, blah blah blah.
Well, this year, now that I am in my mid-20’s and sporting my first, terrifying gray hair, I’m thankful for my graceful transition into adulthood. And not only am I accepting it, I’m embracing it.
There really is some fun stuff about becoming a functioning member of society. And without further ado, here is my list of the things that make me feel like a grownup:
- I have an investment banker that controls my tiny, little 401K that is invested in a stock market that could possibly cease to exist by the time I retire.
- I HAVE a 401K.
- I finally have the confidence to ignore the pushy kiosk people at the mall.
- I no longer strive to be the most famous female beat boxer, but now just to get Justin Timberlake to marry me because I’m a really good person.
- My LinkedIn account has TWO real jobs in employment history.
- I can type 87 WPM. Or is that text? Either way, it’s grownup.
- I have business cards with a job title that isn’t: “Babysitter extraordinaire.”
- My mom steals MY beer now.
- I don’t want to go to Dupstep shows anymore.
- I no longer openly swear in public, all the time.
- When my mom makes me sandwiches, I ask her to keep the crust on.
- I don’t kiss random boys at the bars… as often.
- Last night at Forever 21, I got a headache because the music was too loud.
- I extreme walk in a more cautious manner.
- I suck it up and eat the black jelly beans. Can’t let anything go to waste, we are in a financial crisis you know.
- I think most everything fishnet is tacky.
- I hate The Walrus.
Happy Thanksgiving Y’all! Enjoy your Tofurky!
PS. Fun fact. As I was “researching” for this post, I ran a, “The Walrus Boulder” Google image search to find a logo I could deface. Aaaand if you want to find something funny, run the same search and see what the 11th result is….